Saturday, 23 October 2010

Metal heart

I have been away for quite some time. I have still been reading other people's blogs, I just haven't been able to put my own thoughts into words.

Even now I am struggling to make sense of everything that has happened since my last update but I kind of think I need to, for my own sanity. This is all rather personal and not something I would normally write about on the internet but today I feel like talking about it.

I lost two close friends this summer, three weeks apart. One had just turned 30, the other died on his 28th birthday. Both young and with everything to live for. Both completely out of the blue.

Somehow life goes on, because it has to. The sun was still shining, people were still laughing in parks, friends still met up with friends in bars. And I resented it all. How dared the world go on living when my world had been shattered? I was signed off work for a while but I am back now. Every week I do my work, clean my house, meet up with people, I have even been to New York and back.

But over the summer my life changed. I changed. I'm not sure I'll keep blogging on here but I'll be back in some way or form.